Have I mentioned that Hubs enjoys being outdoors?
Yes? Well here I go again. He grew up on a farm, acreage, cows, goats, dirt, and hay. Lots of hay (yuh, I've baled it). Hunting, fishing, trucks, and massive machinery. So, it comes as no surprise that he enjoys yard work like a librarian loves books. It just goes hand in hand...how he is.
Today we took on the ever growing, taking over weeds and grass together. Weeding, edging, mowing, blowing, watering, spraying, spreading, and planting. I usually mow the backyard. I really enjoy it! I love that I see the fruits of my labor immediately as the lines between newly cut grass become distinct next to the grass that stands inches taller. Instant gratification. Another thing I find quite lovely in my outdoor task is my quiet time with God. I pushed the mower over blades of grass while I listened to my Pandora stations. The music focuses my attention and keep me in constant conversation and praise to God.
Hubs opened the front
gate and my mind began to
run.
Let me rewind to this past summer. I left the house early one morning to go to Bible Study. Coming home, I let the dogs outside. I was planning to leave soon after returning but got held up. An hour later, it hit me.
The gate is open! I came home and in a haste, I neglected to close the
gate.
Immediately, I jumped in my car and headed through our neighborhood looking for "our girls." I rounded the corner and there they were. Drenched in pond water, tongues dangling from panting mouths, ears pinned back, and tails tucked and stilled. As soon as they saw me and heard the familiar sound of our car, their tails began to wag excitedly and a grin spread across their drooling faces. It was someone they knew. Comfort. Home. Love. Safety. They hopped into the car anxious to get their tired bodies home and back in the care of their mama and daddy.
You see, they saw the open gate, the green(er) grass just on the other side of the fence. The new sights and smells were enticing. In a streak of spontaneity and hope for an exciting afternoon of freedom, our girls broke loose of the confines of their own backyard; to see what is out there. From what I can tell, they took our same route that we take when we go on a walk as a family (with leashes). Down the street, to the pond, a swim, a run, and...home. And that's where I think they hit a snag. Getting turned around in their bit of independence, they lost track of their whereabouts. Hence the look of panic as I approached the four legged sisters.
As I mowed in the shining, April sun today, I thought about this day of escape and how I am exactly the same. This internal war. I am beyond blessed and thankful, but somehow struggle to find comfort in laying it all down (daily, sometimes even second to second) to Him.
Resisting the release of my emotions to doubt.
God is constantly reminding me that He has it, He alone is in control, and that He wants me to take it one day at a time with Him.
Instead of allowing the circumstances of the day to rule over me.
Some days I maybe quick to set my eyes on a cracked gate, a peep hole, a way out.
Greener pastures.
Don't I know that the greenest, most lush fields are found in Him? (Psalm 23)
He's clearly telling me that I need to come before Him with my (minuscule) concerns, asking Him if they are important for the day. If they aren't, hand them over. Move on with the day, enjoying what He's blessed me with in each moment.
"A life lived close to Me is not
complicated or cluttered. When your focus
is on My Presence, many things
that once troubled you lose
their power over you."
-Jesus Calling
(A Daily Devotional)
March 29th
Oh, and He whispers that,
"He is the gate."
"Therefore Jesus said again,
'I tell you the truth, I am the gate
for the sheep.'"
-John 10:7
God takes my view of a gate (my escape route) and turns it into Him! THE Way! Beautiful.
He makes me see this sore subject as something worth sharing.
And that is what He wants to do in our lives. Redeem the situations that seem so full of burden.
And so I turn and run to the gate. To Him.
(Finding beauty in the weeds.)
Just like our sweet thrill seeking girls' ears perked up as they sprinted in hope towards me and into my car, I
run full force towards Him with hope abounding.
THE gate is always open! He's waiting for you
(and you and you) to enter (into a relationship with Him). Through Him, unlike the gate our dogs
exited through, we
enter. We
get to enter into a bond of love everlasting. Life. Truth.
Our dream is to one day own some acreage of our own. I imagine
mowing bush-hogging our green pastures under the sun, in the stillness of the expanse, just me and Him.
Quiet time, music, and conversation.
